Why I Can’t Do Starbucks Alone

I really do appreciate conservatives pundits.

I consider myself to be a mini version.

But for me, I prefer logic served up on plain white toast…nothing fancy.

I know right-wing columnist George Will is 1,000 times smarter than me, but for darn sakes, whenever I read his columns I have no idea what he’s trying to say.

Please don’t think I’m blaming you George…it’s not you it’s me…in fact, that reminds me of another George who claimed he invented “it’s not you it’s me.”

You see, I can’t even stay focused enough to be serious about my own ineptitude.

Limbaugh style politics suits me best; plain enough for a fifth grader…like me.

Now that you’ve heard my preferences for conservative theory, can you guess what happens whenever I have a choice between a Dunkin Donuts or a Starbucks?

Let me give you another hint…I won’t enter a Starbucks alone…I have no clue what the signs mean…especially the sizes.

My wife and kids are experts.

If I’m with Natalie, whatever she orders I just say “make that two,” and if my son or daughter are with me, I double one of their choices.

Sorry Starbucks…when I say “small black,” that’s it, end of story, I don’t want you to ask me any more questions.

The Dunkin folks get that.

If I’m alone in a Starbucks and you ask me a question this is what you’ll hear.

Oops, what, huh, oh…whatever that lady bought 5 minutes ago…wait, never mind…I’ve got to go.

 Dunkin vs. Starbucks

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