Archive for November, 2013

Gaga and Kermit? Please…

November 30, 2013

How can Hollywood be so blind?

Especially when it comes to our children.

Brilliant producers had the idea of combining Muppets with Lady Gaga for a Thanksgiving special.

Thank you America for not watching.


Why Every Man Needs a Nice Catholic Girl

November 29, 2013

For those of you who didn’t marry a nice Catholic girl, or those nice girls who aren’t Catholic, please don’t be upset.

Remember, my blog is 99% nonsense, 1% serious.

Speaking from experience, my father, myself and even my oldest son, all had certain priorities regarding the religion of our wives.

I’m proud to say, we all did very well.

My dad used a well-known method from the 1940’s–family recommendations and connections.

In the 1980’s, I used a Catholic Bible study for singles in my home church.

In the 2000’s, my son used

All of these courtship styles are founded in old world traditions.

Just like every young Catholic boy should have had at least an inkling of desire to become a Priest, his desire to marry a young woman who had similar dreams, to become a nun, make for the best marriages.

Speaking of Godly former nuns, I for one am looking forward to the live version of the Sound of Music, to be aired on NBC next week, starring the very talented and attractive Carrie Underwood.

The Hills are Alive with nice Catholic girls…find one gentlemen, and you’ll be singing from the mountaintops too.


Thankful We’re Bullet Proof–No Matter What

November 28, 2013

Yesterday we learned a police officer in Inglewood, California had been shot by a barricaded gunman.

The public information officer can be heard in this short interview.

This cop’s bullet proof vest meant that the bullet didn’t kill him, but left only a deep bruise.

Our God is our protective shield.

No matter what the Devil shoots at us, wounding our spirits, we have a Redeemer far greater, who’s always there.

Hold onto God’s promises, especially when you’re in a fierce battle with real heartache.

You will survive.

If not, Christ would still be in the tomb.

Selling Hope’s Like Selling Soap

November 27, 2013

I read recently that one of the healthiest things we can do for ourselves is belly laugh.

Or, as the Internet world says…LOL.

Here are two incredibly funny videos, from my distant cousin Remy, inspired by a Facebook post from my not so distant cousin Johnny.

My broken-hearted Obama friends will hate the first one.

Listen cuzzies…it’s all in good fun…the real pain won’t happen until the mid-terms…then you can COL (cry out loud).

This next one is for Humoos munchers only…be sure to read the fine print…it’ll kill you!

The Unforgettable Mean Teacher

November 26, 2013

Have you ever had a bad teacher?

My way of gauging them was whether or not they were “mean” or “nice.”

I clearly recall, riding on a St. Mark’s School bus, on my first day back to school, after a long summer, saying out loud something like, “Finally I’m through with Sister Meanie…I wonder who our new teacher will be?” (not her real name of course)

Another classmate, named Joe, yelled back to me…”Hey Mazz, we’ve got Sister Meanie again…she’s moving up a grade.”


Mr. President, yesterday you said, “Sometimes people forget I’m not running for office again.”

Trust me sir…we know you can’t run again.

There’s an old adage, “You may forget what someone says, but you’ll never forget how they made you feel.”

It would be impossible for America to forget how you Mr. Obama, have made us feel.

Knock Out?–Bronson Time

November 25, 2013

For those old enough to remember a movie series called The Vigilante, starring tough guy Charles Bronson, you know the meaning of my blog title today.

The epidemic instigating this cowardly behavior is our derelict and declining culture.

Bottom line…broken homes = broken kids.

This has nothing to do with religion either…it’s natural science friends.

Studies have shown that adolescent male elephants are abusive with one another, unless there’s a dominant male demanding order among his inferiors.

Considering the hyperventilating journalists displayed over every detail regarding George Zimmerman and his confrontation with Trayvon Martin, wouldn’t you think at least one reporter would be dissecting the knock-out crime spree?

Recently a 78 year-old grandma, pushing a stroller, was cold-cocked from behind.

She’s now too fearful to leave her home.

These punks think this is funny too.

Change is on the way–Americans aren’t that dumb and in some states we still have a few rights.

Watch this video folks, it’s Charles Bronson hitting back.

One other thing, expect no help, or even comment, from the White House.

He can’t relate…unless it feeds his political agenda.

Confessions of a Backgammon Addict

November 24, 2013

There are millions of us.

But…not many with pale skin.

The game of Backgammon has its roots in the middle east.

Cousin Nadeem from Lebanon taught me–and–he cleaned my clock for years after my first lesson.

A quality board with ornate design is a must in a traditional Arabic home.

Here’s good news for those who don’t get to play often enough.

The Backgammon App by Optime.

If you see me on an airplane, looking intently at my iPhone, I’m playing.

Listen…it’s good for the brain and may have the ability to stave off Alzheimers…try it.

If I catch you playing Angry Birds I will surely beat you…at Backgammon that is.


Monty Python Reunion–Remembering the Penguin

November 23, 2013

Believe it or not, there actually was a time before the Internet.

Kids like me soaked up comedy skits through TV, radio and records.

Because of the shortcomings of old technology, constantly repeating what we heard, which made us laugh, was our best form of entertainment.

A FB and childhood friend named Phil had an amazing memory for Monty Python skits.

Before I had the pleasure of catching most shows, he’d act them out, while waiting for Mr. Lillpop to start Chemistry class each day.

Somehow it all seemed appropriate…considering the teacher’s odd sounding name.

Thanks to new technology, I can relive those laughs.

The penguin skit was Phil’s favorite…mine too.

It seems living members of the original Python troupe have decided to reunite.

Good idea…I hope they still have their girlish figures.

What’s my moral lesson today?

Be kind to your animals…you never know when one may blow up for no reason.

The 1960 Democrat Platform–Conservative Enough for Me

November 22, 2013

I had the pleasure of sitting through a speech at the Pittsfield Rotary, given by a U.S. Democrat Congressman not long ago.

He opened his statements by saying “Silvio Conte, our former beloved 36 year Representative, would not be a Republican now, as they have moved too far to the right.”

Was he implying that Conte couldn’t be elected today.

That’s hard to swallow.

Especially since it’s none of his darn business, as he never once lived in this district, or pulled the lever for him.

In honor of John F. Kennedy, whose death we still mourn today, 50 years later, I thought it would be appropriate to look up the platform he ran under in 1960.

It’s almost hard to believe how far to the left the Democrats have moved.

Their positions might make you think there are misprints.

Here’s an excerpt from the American Presidency Project on the 1960 Democrats platform on Energy.


The Republican Administration would turn the clock back to the days before the New Deal, in an effort to divert the benefits of the great natural energy resources from all the people to a favored few. It has followed for many years a “no new starts” policy.

It has stalled atomic energy development; it has sought to cripple rural electrification.

It has closed the pilot plant on getting oil from shale.

It has harassed and hampered the TVA.

We reject this philosophy and these policies. The people are entitled to use profitably what they already own.

The Democratic Administration instead will foster the development of efficient regional giant power systems from all sources, including water, tidal, and nuclear power, to supply low-cost electricity to all retail electric systems, public, private, and cooperative.

So Mr. Congressman, who’s the radical party no one would recognize now?

Read the whole platform through the link below.

Zero Dark Thirty Review–The Woman Who Killed Bin Laden

November 21, 2013

First of all, I’m growing a bit tired of the narrative that the President killed Osama Bin Laden.

That’s like saying the Mayor plowed snow on Euclid Ave.

People within government are put in place to perform tasks.

The real hero of this movie, and the story about how Bin Laden was killed, has to do with a young woman, recruited directly out of high school (under Bush), whose only job was to locate the world’s most diabolical man.

It took her ten years, but she did it.

I recommend this movie for those not offended by the “f” word.

Children under twelve…probably not.

The only balance is that there’s almost no sexual content to speak of, other than a terrorist’s backside during his interrogation.

In the movie the woman’s name is Mia.

Whatever your real name is, thank you for what you endured.

Take the rest of your life off and run for Mayor somewhere.

You have my vote.

As for the guy who thinks he killed Bin Laden…he should run for Mayor too…of Munchkin City…because his accomplishments are all a fairy tale/bad dream.