The Panty Hose Run

This is every man’s nightmare.

The phone rings and it’s your wife on the other end, begging you to go to the pharmacy to buy her pantyhose.

It happened yesterday.

“I want the Control Top brand”–whatever that means.

Here’s where it gets sticky–I couldn’t find that brand.

The only thing I could find, which sounded like it addressed certain issues, was a package that said–“smooths problem bottoms.”


That sounded insulting.

After 26 years of marriage you learn things–a gift that has the words “smooths problem bottoms” written on it, may not be a hit.

But, this was no gift, this was an emergency, as she’d put on our 20-something daughter’s hose by mistake and was having major issues on the most important day of the year for an educator…the dreaded Parent/Teacher conferences.

Ugh–I had to do it–CVS clear the aisles!



Delivery to the school in less than 20 minutes–not bad.

Her reaction?

Ladies…you know.

Guys…you’re not sure.


Here’s the text message I got below.

I love U!


Whew…that was a close one.

Is there a lesson here?

Yes…it’s called the Nike’ effect.

Just do it!


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