The Original GPS (Grab Person on Sidewalk)

It really wasn’t that long ago when none of us had GPS devices in our cars.

The number who don’t have them is dwindling, but they’re easy to spot.

They’re the ones either screaming at their spouses, reading a giant fold-out map, completely obscuring their vision of anything else, or, (and this is what I used to do) barking at total strangers through rolled down car windows.

I remember the thoughts that went through my mind in those days…(this dude looks intelligent and friendly enough…I’ll ask him where the Foley Funeral Parlor is in Somerville, even though I still haven’t even found Cambridge…oops this guy’s selling flowers….roll the window up-quick!)

Most people really did try to help.

The worst part, for me anyways, especially if I was lucky enough to grab a person exuding confidence, was that I’d break my father’s cardinal rule and never write down what was said.

One of my dad’s favorite sayings was this…”a short pencil is better than a long memory.”

I don’t know if he made that up, but it seemed to me like he did, ’cause he said it every day.

I really was one of the most stupid drivers of all time before I got my GPS.

Natalie would turn and look at me, after someone gave what sounded like perfect directions, and say….”you don’t have any idea what that guy just said do you?”

She was right.

I think the main reason why we’ll overcome the fuel shortage is because GPS devices stop drivers like me from spending extra hours on the road, circling destinations, as sweat pours onto our white Van Heusen and dark blue with gray pinstripe J.C.P. suits.

There’s an AP article today about how the President has enlisted Governor Deval Patrick of Massachusetts to help him get re-elected.

At first glance, this article seems innocuous, but looking deeply into it, reveals the President is in full perspiration mode, trying to reach his goal–a second term in office.

Here’s the problem with the Presidents choice of GPS–Deval Patrick is Governor of a Progressive State.

Massachusetts may be solidly behind Deval, but it’s hardly a swing State like Ohio.

This place is the only State that voted for George McGovern, and it treats Senator John Kerry like he’s Mark Wahlberg.

It hasn’t voted Republican since Lincoln, except for a few Governors and Scott Brown.

The Scott Brown election was a rejection of the President and the Pelosi/Reid universal health care assault on voters.

It didn’t hurt that Scott Brown was a great guy, but even he campaigned with a “stop Obamacare” message.

Well, good luck Mr. President, I hope you find what you’re looking for. (Phyllis from The Office reference)

I really don’t mean that.

I hope Mitt Romney does.

In a funny way, as Deval Patrick starts his “let-me-help-my-demo-bro-campaign,” he’ll be reminding voters of Mitt Romney, the former Governor of Massachusetts, who was the architect of much of what Deval calls his success in the Bay State.

There is one thing the President could learn from brother Deval–he doesn’t play the race card or use class warfare  in every speech.

That’s his strongest suit as a politician.

His speeches are sincere.

Let’s hope the President doesn’t have a pencil.


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